it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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