We need to rekindle our bromance
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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