we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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