I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
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On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
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I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?