I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
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I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.