You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.