Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize