Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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