don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
