i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
