you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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