the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
