Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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