I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
