I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
