She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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