I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
