Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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