Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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