so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
This toilet bowl is my home.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
