I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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