All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
