he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
