grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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