do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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