Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
