I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
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her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
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He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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