K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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