Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
