But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
