We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
