So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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