Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
