so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
