so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
