that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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