I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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