help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
