I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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