I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
