I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
