I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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