i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
