I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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