Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
