Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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