The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
