I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
