I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
