Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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