Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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