so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I am one with the molecules
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
