Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
