I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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