The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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