I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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