White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
