Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
