Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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