last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
