i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
did i walk over a car last night?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
