just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
