My balls are so social today.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
